nheg: My Sacred Duty

Originally posted: August 17, 2009

If Im going to look back at those times when Im almost at the edge of giving up my office.. I can say that, that could perhaps be the most stupid and foolish period I could have been in my life..I never thought that it would take me 2 long months to retrieve my sacred office back.. It wasnt anybody’s fault.. Not Ka Jun’s fault, Not Ka Jr’s fault, no one’s… I was completely sure of one thing.. That God wasnt certain of embracing me back in my service.. Inner voices from enigmatic sources cross inside my confused mind.. That is all becoming too hard to handle. Felt like Im readily starting to become irrational. No one knew.. no one.. except Him. And when i pray.. tears are eternity.. streaming across my empty face.. Begging Him to take me again with his unselfish arms. What have I done to deserve such delay or worse.. rejection.

But I was determined to move along my narrow ambiguous path.. Deep down my heart, I know.. that this is a trial. It feels gloomy to lose it for a day or two, more depressing for a week, and heartbreaking for months. And im not going to imagine how is it for years, for sure, its unbearable.

My Faith’s wavering, but I didnt lose hope. Envy eats me up from inside. Regrets for moving here to England had become a subject to blame. But I didnt let myself to completely falter. I know Im way too strong for these. As far as my known weaknesses are concerned, this one can NEVER beat me up!

Performing at Sunderland

Good news is music to my ears. And I never expected that what Ive got is far better than I thought. Just in time for Pasalamat, and most of all.. the 95th Anniversary Grand Celebration. Pros count. Im here in England, performing my sacred duty as a choir member, singing hymns of praises in a different language, and most of all, for the first time, Im with my family, and all together we sincerely offer our deepest gratitude and thanksgiving for keeping us firm and intact in our Faith, and for every blessing we are receiving each day. I was never forsaken after all. I was never wrong.. i knew.. it was a trial. -nheg

♫♪ Almighty Father I have come today.To give my thanks to You most gratefully. I offer praises with a humble heart. And sing most joyfully.

You lift my weary soul from misery. I feel Your strength Your nearness day to day. With every step I fell You guiding me. Along my troubled way.

I now give my thanks to You Almighty God. I prevail I endure with You by my side. If You should ever leave Your servant. I know I cannot abide.

I think upon Your goodness day and night. So saddened Lord by what I have become. Ashamed am I before Your holy sight. Of every sin I’ve done.

And yet O Lord You love me anyway. Inspite of all my faults and my misdeeds. You never failed to listen as I pray. Providing every need.

I am here Your chosen servant calling You. Please receive my thanksgiving, my humble praise. I sing proclaiming Your compassion. Your love, Your kind blessed ways.

This world is filled with such uncertainty. But You are ever present in my life. Because of Your concern I still remain. Within the Church of Christ.

I have nothing to repay Your blessings Lord. What have I that compares to the Grace You give. I only hope that I am worthy. To serve as long as I live..

The life and strength You give to me Almighty God. These I return to You in service Lord. I promise to endure my pains and trials. I promise to be faithful to Your word.

O let my name be now and ever written. There in the book of life, this I implore. As I await Your son, his great returning. May I be true to You forever more.

I see the end of all my many hardships. For all the sufferings will fade away. i know that I will see the Holy City. To look upon Your face, on that Great Day.